{"id":2290,"date":"2020-04-17T16:05:36","date_gmt":"2020-04-17T14:05:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/paartherapie-coupletherapy.de\/?p=2290"},"modified":"2020-04-30T09:59:13","modified_gmt":"2020-04-30T07:59:13","slug":"comfort-in-times-of","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/paartherapie-coupletherapy.de\/en\/comfort-in-times-of\/","title":{"rendered":"Comfort in times of &#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Love is not a feeling<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p>&#8220;Gef\u00fchle wohnen im Menschen; aber der Mensch wohnt in seiner Liebe. Das ist keine Metapher, sondern die Wirklichkeit: die Liebe haftet dem Ich nicht an, so da\u00df sie das Du nur zum Inhalt, zum Gegenstand h\u00e4tte, sie ist zwischen Ich und Du&#8221;.<\/p><cite>Martin Buber. Aus: Ich und Du (erster Teil)<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>This quote by Martin Buber (from <em>I and Thou<\/em> , part 1) is quite hard to translate. It states that feelings live within us, but we dwell in our love. Love is not <em>in<\/em> us but it resides in the space between you and me. I find this thought very comforting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When we reflect on our feelings and how we perceive them we notice that feelings are always there and also that feelings are extremely volatile. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Can you try to remember the emotions you experienced within the last &#8230; say: 60 minutes? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Maybe it went like this. Exhaustion (<em>finished writing a piece on my laptop<\/em>), disappointment (<em>no confirmation yet from a client<\/em>),  worry<em> (briefly read some news online<\/em>), anxiety  (<em>the news are terrible<\/em>), irritabilty (<em>paired with the thought I shouldn&#8217;t check the news so often<\/em>), envy (<em>my sister&#8217;s-in-law WhatsApp suggests she deals with home office and home schooling much better than me<\/em>), then hunger (<em>6pm haven&#8217;t eaten yet<\/em>), anticipation (<em>there is pizza in the freezer<\/em>), disgust (<em>found some mouldy old yogurth<\/em>), satisfaction (<em>yummie pizza!<\/em>), boredom (<em>paired with the question should I start watching a movie?<\/em>) and then, suddenly: curiosity (<em>I wonder what Julia wrote in that couple therapy blog?<\/em>) &#8230;  that&#8217;s eleven feelings (an one bodily sensation) in 60 minutes!  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Feelings are facts &#8211; but not necessarily the truth<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>I don&#8217;t know whether the amount of emotional changes you are experiencing has increased or whether domestic isolation slows down your moods &#8211; but I know one thing for sure: there&#8217;s always some kind of feeling we&#8217;re feeling. Emotions appear, stay with us for a while and then they leave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So that means that our emotions are usually not very reliable tools in helping us understanding our world. Feelings are facts and often enough they seem to suggest a certain urgency (<em>feel me! I&#8217;m very important!<\/em> cries the feeling), but they&#8217;re not consistent, in fact they&#8217;re unstable, always coming and going.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Feelings don&#8217;t allow us to rest and dwell and take comfort in them. As we seek permanence and stability we turn to our values and experiences. And to love: in which we make our home.<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Love is not a feeling &#8220;Gef\u00fchle wohnen im Menschen; aber der Mensch wohnt in seiner Liebe. Das ist keine Metapher, sondern die Wirklichkeit: die Liebe haftet<span class=\"excerpt-hellip\"> [\u2026]<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2058,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2290","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-krisenzeit-en","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Comfort in times of ... - Praxis f\u00fcr Paartherapie Berlin-Mitte<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/paartherapie-coupletherapy.de\/en\/comfort-in-times-of\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Comfort in times of ... - Praxis f\u00fcr Paartherapie Berlin-Mitte\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Love is not a feeling &#8220;Gef\u00fchle wohnen im Menschen; aber der Mensch wohnt in seiner Liebe. 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