In the initial consultation, I often hear things like:
“All my husband does is work! I feel like I am just being left all alone with the children.”
“My wife had an affair. I can’t forgive her.”
“We are considering separation. This is our last try.”
“I still love him. But I am no longer in love.”
“We don’t talk to each other anymore. And when we do, we just argue.”
“We’ve stopped having sex, and we’ve stopped having fun.”
“I don’t know if I still love my wife.”
What do I do?
At the beginning we are strangers. I don’t know the situation you are living and working in. I don’t know the experiences you have had, your values, nor do I know your personal goals. I have learned to quickly see the world through the eyes of other people, to empathise with people in a wide variety of problem situations and to understand them.
At the start my expertise is primarily in asking questions. I am effectively your consultant for new perspectives. People often respond: “Yes! I never really saw it that way before… That’s a completely new idea to me.”
Aside from that, I am an expert at speaking to you in a way that enables you to discover new options and strategies for yourself. You will learn to recognise options that were previously not a realistic possibility. And last but not least, I am always pleased if we can have a little laugh. I consider humour to be a great tool for dealing with difficult situations.
After an initial consultation of approximately 60 minutes, you can then decide how many additional consultations you would like to arrange. You can be assured that everything you say to me will be treated with utmost confidentiality, right from the very first time you get in touch – whether it be by telephone or by email.
The schedule of consultations can also be flexible to accommodate particular needs, for example intensive sessions (e.g. three or four hours on one days) can be arranged for couples who have a long way to travel.
Would you like to learn a bit more about couples therapy in general? You can find a selection of recommended books under book recommendations.
Yes, I would like an initial consultation
“Have patience with the unresolved issues in your heart, and try to love the questions themselves, as if they were locked rooms, or books written in a very foreign language. The point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”
Rainer Maria Rilke, “Letter to a Young Poet“