Rituals in times of …

What do you think? When this is all going to be over: will there be more babies or more divorces?

This week, the German weekly Die Zeit published an interview with a young couple who had been self-isolating for many weeks. When asked whether there had been any romantic moments

He said: Yes. This morning I have told her that I love her more then anything else.

She said: For me, it’s always romantic when we play with the dog. Like a pack of little animals.

We’ve all been isolating for the past weeks. And most of us worry how to rise to the challenges of this unprecedented situation. We think of our families, of our jobs and about the financial situation worldwide … and we worry about all of it.

I would like to suggest that – now more than ever – we think about our partnership. And about some of the rituals that love needs so love can be stable, safe, strong. Not because I’m a romantic but because I’m a realist. And I know that if we don’t manage to save our relationships through this everything else will be even worse.

Connecting in times of uncertainty: your weekly ritual

So this is what I’d like to suggest.

At the end of each week take some time to connect with one another. And share your experiences. One of you talks, the other just listens, then you switch. No interruptions, no fedback, no justification …

  • This week I struggled with …
  • I would have loved you to …
  • I noticed we’re a good team when…
  • I felt happy when …
  • I missed …
  • This was a new experience that I thought was interesting …
  • It was really funny when …
  • I felt comforted by …


Most of us want to find a compatible partner, someone who also likes chocolate and Ghostbusters and long walks on the beach. But I think compatibility is overrated. What is required is unity. Unity doesn’t mean you are the same; it means you’re together.

Zach Brittle, The Relationship Alphabet

Until next time. Keep well!